There's always lots to do. You need to be writing and reading and proposing ALL the time. Since transitioning from coursework to strictly working on my dissertation, I've been trying to figure out how to do it ALL!
I'm finding, however, that the pressure to produce is making me unproductive. Every time I try and force some writing in moments when I feel exhausted or unbalanced, I end up disappointed. And then, in moments when I surrender to what feels good to me, I get much more accomplished.
It's a tough act to manage. The reality of this industry is that I need to be making things happen. I should be getting more presentations and publications under my belt. But I truly don't work well when it feels forced.
Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to report that I've figured it out. I imagine in hindsight, I'll see that everything unfolded right on time, but for now, all I can do is relinquish the fight and ask God to have Her way.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Charter Day!
Tonight I was among the glitz and glam at Howard's 146th charter day gala. I wasn't wearing any of the sparkly dresses, but I was in the building!
Rewind selecta...a few days ago I got a call from the Dean of my department cordially inviting me to have a seat at the social work table for the event. My social phobia alarm immediately went off although I managed to confirm my acceptance of the invitation before the end of the call. I was anxious because I knew this would mean the arduous task of finding an outfit and giving hair, and the way my checking and savings was set up (in my Kevin Hart voice) I knew I was gonna have to rub pennies to make it happen.
Fast forward... I'm at the Washington Hilton with a buddy from my cohort, dressed down, compared to most, in my basic black dress and Tar-zhay pearls. But instead of having an awkward black girl kind of night, I actually had a really good time.
Anika Noni Rose helped open the event in song. Later, after shrimp, lobster, beef (not for me of course) and a tasty desert plate, Howard alumni were honored for their accomplishments.
It was pretty cool to see people who'd come from where I am now being honored and others being able to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars on the spot for students like me to be able to stay in school.
All in all, I really had a great time. Events like these are slowly luring me out of my tendency for isolation and are helping to serve as intermittent reminders of why it's all worth it!
Rewind selecta...a few days ago I got a call from the Dean of my department cordially inviting me to have a seat at the social work table for the event. My social phobia alarm immediately went off although I managed to confirm my acceptance of the invitation before the end of the call. I was anxious because I knew this would mean the arduous task of finding an outfit and giving hair, and the way my checking and savings was set up (in my Kevin Hart voice) I knew I was gonna have to rub pennies to make it happen.
Fast forward... I'm at the Washington Hilton with a buddy from my cohort, dressed down, compared to most, in my basic black dress and Tar-zhay pearls. But instead of having an awkward black girl kind of night, I actually had a really good time.
Anika Noni Rose helped open the event in song. Later, after shrimp, lobster, beef (not for me of course) and a tasty desert plate, Howard alumni were honored for their accomplishments.
It was pretty cool to see people who'd come from where I am now being honored and others being able to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars on the spot for students like me to be able to stay in school.
All in all, I really had a great time. Events like these are slowly luring me out of my tendency for isolation and are helping to serve as intermittent reminders of why it's all worth it!
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