Honored.

Today, I received notice that I will travel to Yale University next week to be inducted into the Edward Bouchet Graduate Honors Society.

This comes at a very critical time for me in this process. It is a reminder of the bigger picture. I am indeed grateful to be included among scholars who represent the legacy of the first African American PhD at Yale. Beyond the academic title, Dr. Bouchet's work with teens at a high school and his by any means necessary commitment to being an educator with integrity really resonates with my spirit. I commit to living up to the honor.

Learn more here: http://gsas.yale.edu/diversity/bouchet-graduate-honor-society

That moment when it starts coming together.

There'a a lot that I could say about what all has transpired over these past few weeks as we are getting down to the wire. Many of them would probably sound like long rants about some pretty frustrating parts of this process, but I have committed to minimizing how much I allow myself to focus on the negative.

What I will say is that today, as I sit in the Atlanta office of one of my dear friends from college, I feel like things are coming together.

After submitting my draft about a month ago, I took a few weeks away from the document to let my mind reset. Just about a week and a half ago, after having received no formal feedback from my committee, I embarked on another review of my data and a fourth go at my analysis. I started to unearth themes and explanatory models began to come alive in ways that really helped me feel like I had conducted a study and developed some important and valuable findings.

For the past half hour, I just sat here and began to type up notes based on recently developed graphs from exploring other features of the qualitative software I'm using (yes, this totally sounds like I'm geeing out…I am). It really helped me feel like things were coming alive; like I could really stand in front of this defense committee and rock out confidently in my work.

I guess that's a pretty important feeling to have just weeks out from graduation…especially when you're not sure when the defense date is…but at least I can rest a little easier and feel more confident in my work.

Write it and Let them Hear You.

Today, after the writing circle on "Writing for publication", I emerged with a commitment to ensuring that I write beyond this degree. No matter what role I assume, whether it be academia, practice, a combination of these roles, or something totally new that I can't even conceive of yet, I will continue to write and share my ideas and perspectives with the world.

A few things my advisor said while facilitating that meeting really inspired me to accept my role and responsibility as a disseminator of knowledge and ideas. I don't remember all of them, but I do recall a moment in the room where I was lost in my own thoughts, pondering this fresh vision of myself as a contributor through my voice and written word.

So, as of today, I vow to use my time on the other side of this degree to finally write down some of the ideas that I have been letting ruminate in my mind. I accept the opportunity to make a difference by adding to the discourse on human life and wellbeing.

Destined.

I keep getting glimpses; powerful images of me in the role I was born to assume. I have a platform, I speak with integrity, my presence connects with people's souls.

This vision is of me doing what I was brought here for. Not to Howard, but to this lifetime.

While anxiety has been rearing its head lately, there's a part of me that knows SO sure that I am walking right into what God has for me. I need not fear.

I just needed to let that out.

Now, to proceed in faith.

#liketheresnootheroption

Aaaaaaaaaaaand SEND!

Today, I submitted a draft of my complete dissertation.

After a grueling two weeks of data analysis, results and discussion & conclusion writing, I have a full document, ready for feedback.

I tell you, man, the closer it gets, the crazier it feels. It won't officially feel real until I hear back from my advisor and we start talking defense dates, but I sure am glad to be on the latter end of this journey.

I'll keep you posted. For now, I'll be getting some rest and doing some planning around next steps.

#exhale