A few weeks ago I stepped on the gas and went full speed ahead to get out a third draft of my proposal. This meant long nights with peers on campus working on section after section of this document. With a proposal goal of sometime this semester, there's lots to get done and little time for messing around.
About a week ago today, I took a major sigh of relief as I submitted my draft to my advisor. I exhaled for a little bit and then began to catch up on some other unfinished tasks like my fellowship renewal and abstract submission for CSWE 2014. I even planned a short getaway home to celebrate my youngest niece's birthday with the fam. But before my feet got planted in the concrete jungle that is New York, I got a call from my advisor and my respite was abruptly brought to a close.
I was exhausted of all things dissertation at that point, but grateful for the timely feedback. We had a very detailed conversation about the changes I made to my my draft and I answered some clarifying questions about my document and research goals. One major lesson I got from this discussion: DO NOT SECOND GUESS MYSELF. I am clear now, more than ever before, that my topic is important and can help me make a significant contribution to discussion around African American mental health.
Sometimes, as you engage in the the terrorizing task of writing and re-writing you can end up feeling not so sure. But I now know that I must keep trudging confidently in the direction of my vision, for there is definitely value there.
It is now Tuesday and we are in the second week of February. I have returned from NY and am officially back at it. I've made revisions to Chapter 1 and am planning to speak with my advisor about those changes and moving forward. I'm a little anxious because time is definitely ticking, but that's what it does; if it stopped therein would lie a whole other set of problems. So I will keep pushing, trusting that my divine date to defend is already orchestrated by the Master Planner.
Woooooooosah.
Your prayers are greatly appreciated!
Cheers.
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