Delimitation; The Need to Create; The Power to Choose

A few thoughts from the week.

In Cognitive Development class yesterday we examined a concept called "delimitation". This idea suggests that at birth/conception, the developmental possibilities of a human being are infinite, but as one steps through time these possibilities become narrower. Essentially, we all choose life paths and experiences that take our lives along particular trajectories, so as we make choices from day to day and moment to moment we restructure the parameters of how much of the myriad of opportunities afforded by life we actually get to experience. That part seems pretty straightforward, but I thought further. As we choose to "be" certain ways and carry certain perspectives about people, life events, and general phenomenon, we also limit our world of possibility; in taking stoic stances about things we set up a trend of continuing to show up to these particular types of experiences with a predetermined way of being that will limit the richness that we can potentially yield from being more open and releasing the barriers that make our life possibilities narrower. Now, while I am pretty certain that I don't want to open myself to the possibility of living in a way that will call consequences into my life that will take away my freedom, and/or someone else's, I do know that there are ways that I can position myself to stretch a little bit. Imagine, just by shifting a little, and being less motivated by my fears, judgments, and biases, I can actually begin to feel as if I do have access to more of this world that became available to me at my conception.

In an article I read for Groups class, authors Margaret Wheatley and Myron Kellner-Rogers talked about how the power to create life is an essential part of living. What they explained is that we really need the freedom to choose from moment to moment in order to feel alive. I considered that when we begin to project our visions and needs onto others, and hold them accountable for living out their lives according to our scripts, we are asphyxiating their sense of freedom and possibility (most of the times they have no idea that we've engaged them in this sudden death as we just react to them out of our frustration and judgment of them not playing the roles we've decided for them). I want to give everyone I know their lives back! Not in the sense that I really believe that I have any true power over another, but I relinquish my expectations and judgments, and really honor everyone's power to choose and create on their own terms. When I release this need to control the players in my life, I actually re-create the opportunity to build loving relationships with others and choose the people in my life for who they choose to be.

"In our lives together...we must account for the fact that everyone requires, as a condition of their being, the freedom to author their own life. ...Life insists on its freedom to participate and can never be sold or bossed into accepting someone else's plans" - Wheatley & Kellner-Rogers

I choose vanilla, because I choose vanilla! (Inside Joke)