"Somebody spilled blood for me, so whatever I do I better come up fighting"

It seems that just when I need reassurance about this journey, God sends in the reinforcements...

I spent last night trying to force words to magically transfer through my fingertips and onto the computer screen in order to complete my first paper of the semester. After a long weekend at home in NY, I knew I was in for a tough start to the week as I had several assignments to complete in a short period of time--I wasn't mistaken! At about 2:15am I finally dragged my extremely tired body to the bed for a four hour nap. When the alarm went off this morning I definitely wanted to scream.

But I peeled myself up and carried myself up the hill to campus for my 9:10am - 5:00pm school day. I definitely struggled to keep my head from going into a nodding frenzy while in my research class and I just could not imagine how my exhausted body would make it through my second three hour stint; about 15 minutes into my afternoon class, however, I discovered the answer to my exhaustion.

Dr. Halaelvalu Vakalahi walked into our room; a strong build woman wearing a short sleeved white t-shirt and brown flowered print dress took the seat at the head of the class. As she began her lecture it was as if she emerged straight off the pages of the text I had just crammed to read over my Subway lunch before our session. Dr. Valu, as she is called, has spent considerable time investigating and writing about the experiences of women of color in the profession and she graciously came to talk about who she is and the impression she hopes to make in the field. There was something extremely warm and simply human about her; my weary body was gently awakened by the comfort of her presence and the profundity with which she spoke about her passion, commitment, and obligation to serve so that brown girls like me could come up behind. As she talked about the road traveled to her current position as the Director of the School of Social Work at George Mason University, she painted a picture of herself constantly pushing upward and courageously facing obstacles that were intended to serve as barriers; her life, she explained, is simply energized by the idea that "somebody spilled blood for me, so whatever I do, I better come up fighting". To borrow a line from her dialogue, as I listened to her, "my spirit felt like it came home".

Of late, I've been praying about mentorship and really trying to see my way in and through this process. In today's class, I felt as if Dr. Valu's testimony ministered to me in a way that reminded me that my journey, too, has been paved by spilled blood. I have a responsibility to push through.

At the end of the session, I was honored to have our guest sign the Women of Color as Social Work Educators: Strengths and Survival textbook for which she served as an author, and inside she wrote "Zuleka, thank you for inspiring me to continue this journey". I'm happy to know that I was in some way able to return the favor.

"When I dare to be powerful--to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid" --Audre Lorde