Now What?

I'm slowly getting back in the rhythm, but now, with only one class and no other real reasons to consistently trek to campus, some days feel kind of...confusing. After going so hard for that test, and for these past two years, it feels kind of surreal to be the orchestrator of your own time. But there's definitely lots to be done.

Last night, as I was talking to my cohort member, I realized that I really need to embrace the idea that I'M IN DISSERTATION MODE. The last leg is finally here. I thought it would feel so much calmer after comps and classes, but there's still anxiety.

At this point, I need to start writing and submitting drafts of my research/dissertation proposal to my dissertation advisor; I need to use my time to build the near 150 page document that will be presented before the Dean and my committee members in a two-hour proposal defense which, done successfully, will grant me permission to commence my research.

Secret: I'm not sure what my topic is yet. (Insert blank stare emoticon). Okay, wait, before you judge me, I do know that I want to work on something related to African-American adolescent mental health, but it is a very complex process to actually nail down your researchable question. I have some ideas, and I've been reading literature in this area for the past two years, so I'm not totally in the dark, but over the next few weeks, I need to solidify something so I can get the conversation going with my advisor, get feedback, and make some headway on that buck fifty (the hundred and fifty or so pages I just said I need to write).

So, there needs to be a formula to this madness. When you get to this point, you need to do a lot of self-reflection and stretching. For me, I know I need to develop some new habits. I admit, I have struggled with being consistent with things, you know, like working out, going to bed before Wendy Williams comes on (don't judge me), and waking up and starting my day before noon approaches (wait, I do get up around 9, but I move pretty sloooooooooowly in the morning). So, a part of me needs to work the muscle of some new rituals to get myself in shape for success. I need to balance these new habits with things that take me out of my comfort zone, but that also resonate with my spirit. Like, I'm not a fan of going to the gym (even the one that's about 12 flights down from me and open 24 hours. Don't...). I do, however, like to dance, so maybe finding a weekly dance class will be a good compromise. Something like that.

Okay, so here's your part. Sometimes, having people to hold you accountable to things gives that added little push you need. So, I'm going to tell you some things that you should take me to task on. In the next few weeks, I need to implement a juicing, exercising, and dissertation proposal routine that I will do for one month straight until it becomes habit. I'll report back on that routine...no, not as a procrastination, but I really want to invest in a plan that'll be effective. Ask me for it in about two weeks (I'm going home next week for my birthday, so I'd more than likely start when I return).

This weekend (today is Saturday), I'm going to start by organizing all of these papers I have in here for easier access and to take out those that may be helpful to my writing process. I will also work on a concept paper (a two-page write-up of my ideas for the proposal) so I can submit this to my advisor before going home to NY. I also have some articles that I want to read and I'd like to find a dissertation writing book to guide my process.

Alrighty, that's where I'll start for now. I'll keep ya posted.

Here it goes....